New plans

I am now up to 340 pounds. Instead of losing weight in the past few months I have gained it....30 pounds.

I had my wedding reception, wore my beautiful dress....and looked horrible.

I am so deep in self hatred now. My butt no longer fits in my desk chair. I sit in my recliner on my laptop, or I use a kitchen chair at my desk.

I am a room mother at my daughters school. Yet I can't go on field trips with them because I can not walk more than a block without needing an ambulance, or stand for more than a few minutes at a time. I can no longer consider my self a great mother. I cant even take my daughter to the Fair...because I know I wont fit on the rides and she is to small to ride by herself. I am pathetic.

I have one friend left. No support. No followers or readers here. I am alone in this. I know that I can not continue on this road, but I dont know how to stop it. Weight watchers? Might be worth a try. OA? Possibly. I just dont know. I am still working on it.

I havent given up here....just trying to decide the best way to get to where I want to go.